The Facebook ghost: Logs on to Facebook once, probably just to stalk an ex-girlfriend, forgets his password and then never checks in again. All that remains of the 12 minutes he spent on the social networking site is the blue silhouette that Facebook assigns to people who have no profile photo (and 123 unanswered friend requests).
Annoyance factor: 35
Extreme Makeover, Facebook edition: She was the ugly duckling from high school who is now working as a personal trainer. He's the guy who got shoved in the locker in elementary school, and recently shaved his unibrow and went to a few Tony Robbins seminars. Now they're going through the yearbook, friending everyone from A to Z, just to show how much you blew it.
Annoyance factor: 15
The Facebook snob: Treats Facebook like the cool kids' table in junior high. Only allows close confidants and/or good-looking people in the circle and refuses to friend everyone else. If this person wanted to be honest, he or she would have a picture of Lindsay Lohan from "Mean Girls" as a profile photo.
Annoyance factor: 92
The TMI: Most people on Facebook update their profile every few days or weeks. This Facebooker feels the need to tell the world every tiny detail of his seemingly pointless life: John Doe is tired of working ... John Doe is going to the grocery store to get some kiwis ... John Doe just cleaned the bathroom. On to the kitchen!
Annoyance factor: 100
The Friend addict: This is the Facebook equivalent of one of those crazy ladies who gets declared a public nuisance because she has too many cats in her home. Even though this Facebooker only knows 47 people, he/she managed to accumulate 786 friends - mostly by going through other people's profiles and friending perfect strangers.
Annoyance factor: 28
The "Hey, remember me?": If it takes more than two sentences to explain who you are in your friend request, you probably shouldn't bother. But this person wants to reconnect anyway, even though the sum total of your experiences together was 48 seconds you spent chatting at a party in 1993.
Annoyance factor: 63
The Facebook superfan: The ultimate follower, this friend clogs your newsfeed with multiple daily updates about his bandwagon jumping: John Doe became a fan of Lil' Wayne! ... John Doe became a fan of Watchmen! ... John Doe became a fan of Captain C.B. "Sully" Sullenberger!
Annoyance factor: 82
The glory days: Facebook isn't a social networking site for this person. It's another chance to erect a shrine in honor of a former sorority, high school football team or a high score set on a Space Invaders machine in 1984. (Time slips away and leaves you with nothing mister, but boring stories of ...)
Annoyance factor: 45
The exhibitionist: If you believe this person's photo albums, her life consists of nothing except lying out at the beach, roller skating in a bikini and doing Jell-O shots at a bar with her boobs hanging out of her dress. The male equivalent will mostly include pictures of himself rock climbing.
Annoyance factor: 0
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